Anonymous asked: Can you recommend me some specific videos I can do over summer in my room?
Fitness blender have amaZing workouts!
Anonymous asked: have you ever had a bad day where you just feel like ending everything?
I used to have those days, EVERY day.
I would wake up, and sigh because I was legitimately disappointed I didn’t die in my sleep..
I would think “oh wow it’s cold today”.. Then “what a good day to die”.
I saw everything as something against me; if there was only blue flavoured mi goreng ag the shops and I only like red flavour I would honestly think to myself that it was clear the universe hated me and had intentionally done that to me to make me hate myself even more.. Which is SO irrational I know, because in reality, it was just that the store was out of red mu goreng.. Big woop.
But that’s what depression does to you. It gnaws away at any hope, happiness and optimism you once had. It makes you entirely selfish and believe everything is out to get you. If someone says to you that it is selfish you are hurt yet again because to you it feels the opposite of selfish. It feels like selfish would mean yiu are reaping personal gains, and depression takes that away. If you were to take your own life you see it as giving life and money back to your family.. You’re incapable of seeing it as a huge loss to them and unable to fathom the consequences such actions would have on them.
You feel like a burden to them; consuming their time, effort, energy and money - without you there, they would eventually be able to get over your passing and be happier withiut you. This is not the case. And depressions blinds you from being able to see that the biggest burden you will ever give your family is by NOT being there.
But when you start to notice the differences between reality and depression, you can begin to truly be grateful for the things you are already blessed with..